She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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