I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
