Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize