am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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