I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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