i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
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