How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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