I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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