Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
