It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
