Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
