LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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