Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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