do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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