worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
