fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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