Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
