His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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