last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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