i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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