Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
