too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
