Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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