Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
