Its about making memories worth repressing
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
