Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
