does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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