i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
