I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I think my vagina is haunted
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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