Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You pole danced in your parka.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
