you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
