This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
