The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
