Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
