Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
