This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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