whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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