Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
