what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
