Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize