i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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