I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
