Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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