I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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