I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
