Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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