When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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