I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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