How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
