i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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