That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
