you win again, gameday.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
