evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
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