3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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