just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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