More tranny stories later!
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
