So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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