I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I don't think brook has ever known best
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
