Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
