when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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