Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
