so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
