I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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