i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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