There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
